Editorial standards

Matrix News Network is a satirical and editorial publication. Much of what we publish is parody and satire — not literal statements of fact — written in the tradition of The Onion and The Babylon Bee. Where we write in earnest about moral and spiritual matters, that commentary is sincere opinion. Names, quotations, and events used in satirical pieces are used for the purpose of parody and commentary.

The two registers — enforced at publication

Every piece published here is tagged Register A (satirical) or Register B (earnest) before it is written, and that tag determines everything: the voice, the guardrails, and the fact-check standard. Tonal mixing — a knee-slapper above a meditation on a dismembered child — is a failure condition that kills the piece.

Register A — satire on real events

  • →Every satirical piece is built on a real event. We are not a random headline generator.
  • →Satirical claims about real, named individuals must be unmistakably parody or hyperbole — never a fabricated statement of fact presented as literal reporting about a real private person.
  • →The sitewide satire disclaimer backstops this; it does not replace good framing.
  • →We punch at power and ideas, not at the powerless.

Register B — sourced, earnest, prophetic

Register B covers abortion (the flagship beat) and the call to a sleeping church. It is not satire. It is sincere. Every factual claim in a Register-B piece — abortion counts, mortality statistics, any number cited — must be sourced inline to a named, verifiable origin (CDC, Guttmacher, peer-reviewed literature). The moral case rests on true numbers or it does not ship.

The editorial pipeline

  1. 1.Editorial desk: Reads the real source event; assigns register, beat, and the specific angle.
  2. 2.Draft: Written in the assigned register with the assigned voice.
  3. 3.Humanizer: Removes AI-generated cadence and formulaic phrasing. Mandatory on every piece — no exceptions.
  4. 4.Fact-check: Verifies every real-world fact the piece rests on. In Register A, this protects the parody (satire must sit on a true premise). In Register B, every number is cited precisely.
  5. 5.Editor gate: Canon compliance check, register purity, guardrail review. A piece that violates the canon is killed or rewritten — finished-looking copy is not a reason to publish.

The persona

The editor-at-large, Peter Jordanson, is a fictional narrator. He evokes a register and a moral seriousness — not any real individual's biography, real quotes, or real claims. We never state or imply-as-fact that he is any real person. The wink is the whole game; crossing from homage into impersonation kills the piece.

Corrections

When we find an error — or when a reader points one out — we correct it and note the correction with a date. We do not silently edit published content.

To report an error: editorial@mnn.ai. Include the article URL and the specific claim.